What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him?  Psalm 8:4

I think of this verse often.  Who am I?  Why would God even think of me?  Why would He send His Son to die for my sins?  Why is He interested in the details of my life?  Why does He work in my life?  What does He have planned for me?  These questions have gone through my head more rapidly and more frequently the last month.  January 3, 2012 will be a day I will never forget.  At 7:30 pm my 2 young sons and a dear family friend and I were in a serious snowmobile accident. 

I do not remember anything about the accident nor do I remember much from the next 2 weeks.  Our friend, Oren, had a cut lip, and bruising.  My youngest son, Josiah, had 2 cuts and swelling on his face and his arms were very sore.  My oldest son, Ben, had a large bump on the top of his head and 7 fractures in his back which required a back brace.  I was knocked unconscious for several minutes.  When I awoke, I sat up and took off my helmet.  I was bleeding alot from my nose (which was broken) and from my right eye, which had a cut above it which required 3 stitches.  Josiah helped Ben walk the 1/2 mile back to the house and Oren assisted me the entire way.  Since Oren called 911 from the crash site emergency vehicles were already arriving at our house when we got close.  Oren was taken to the closest hospital, Josiah was sent to a large one in Rochester, Ben was sent to Syracuse and I was sent via Mercy Flight to the same hospital as Ben.  They sent me via chopper, and this is my interpretation, because I was disoriented (when asked if I knew where I was I looked at my own house and said no) and I didn't know what had happened.  After another team arrived at my home they decided I needed medical attention as quickly as possible.  That's when Mercy Flight was called.  My oldest daughter followed the ambulance that had Josiah.  My second daughter rode in the ambulance with Ben.  And after securing the animals and locking the house my husband, Joseph, drove to Syracuse, all the while praying and wondering if I would be alive when he arrived.  How scary must that have been for him?  I can't imagine.  And since I do not recall one tiny bit of the drama (and I don't mean that in a sarcastic way) it is hard for me to feel any emotion about that night.  Since my parents live in Syracuse, they arrived before Joseph.  Joseph, my mother and my best friend Donna (along with other family members and friends) took turns going back and forth between Ben and I.  Hm...I'm just thinking....let's switch to Josiah.  He was taken to Rochester.  Bekah and her boyfriend Luke were told the wrong hospital.  After figuring out exactly where Josiah was being taken they hurried there.  Joseph had been in contact with our pastor and he drove the 45 minutes to the hospital and arrived just after Josiah, much to Josiah's relief.  After x-rays and some care Josiah was released to Bekah and they arrived back home about 2am.  Back to Ben.  Sometime on Wednesday Ben was fitted with a back brace and brought down to see me. 

My face was very swollen and purple.  My eyes were nearly swollen shut.  My neck and throat were very swollen.  I spoke in nothing more than a whisper for several days.  After seeing me Ben was very upset and didn't want daddy to leave his room.  My mother spent Wednesday night with me, while Joseph stayed with Ben.  I can't remember how they discovered this, but the arteries in my neck were severely damaged.  An angiogram was done late Wednesday afternoon.  The artery on the left side was 70% blocked, the right, not quite so bad.  There was fear of a stroke, so I was put in ICU at that point and watched closely.  However, the Lord was working, the blood flow in my brain was normal despite the blockages. 

Despite my serious injuries, I was released from the hospital at 11 am Thursday.  While I am thankful for the care I received, I still have some questions about the way some things were handled at the hospital.  I was, however, very relieved to get home.  I was very dizzy and in alot of pain.  (Also, Ben was released on Thursday as well and my folks brought him home as I had to see an eye Dr before Joseph brought me home.)  I slept nearly all the time for about 2 weeks.  And when I wasn't sleeping I do not remember 99% of what I said or did.  I don't remember people that came to see me.  I don't remember texting my "kids".  Nothing.  I am slowly healing. The headaches and dizziness are almost completely gone.  My right arm, which was not broken, but severely sprained, still hurts alot.  Many of the bruises on my right side (that must have been the side I landed on as I had not one mark on my left side) have mostly faded but they still are very tender.  The biggest thing is my energy.  I get tired very easily.  Going out of the house, even for a short time wears me out.  After church this past Sunday I came home and took a 2 1/2 hour nap.  I had a couple errands yesterday and slept 10 1/2 hours last night.  I am being very careful.  I am not pushing myself.  When I get tired I lie down.  And I am thankful for what I can do.

Why did God spare me?  I don't know.  Why did the accident happen?  I don't know that either.  I have seen things that God is doing in our family and in other people as a result of the accident.  I am blown away with the out-pouring of love from the body of Christ.  It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that so many people would pray for us and do all the things they have been doing.  I am thankful for each and every one of them.  I am also thankful to my Lord for being able to stay here and continue raising my children.  I love being a wife and a mom and I take that job very seriously.  I pray the Lord would show me how I need to improve and then enable me to do what He shows me.  And I am very thankful that Ben, Josiah and Oren were not hurt nearly as badly as I was, although I wish they didn't have to see me the way I looked when I took my helmet off. 

This is not the end of my story.  I have things to do.  God has a plan and a purpose for me.  I intend to continue raising my children and loving my husband.  I have new kids that need me, and honestly, I need them too.  They are precious to me.  I pray that the rest of my story glorifies the Lord more than anything I have ever done.

Blessings & Hugs

Michelle